Dead Dog – he never called, he tuned out to be married/gay/fell down a hole in the ground or just a useless piece a person. Dead dogs can be ‘poked’ metaphorically speaking by blanket dead dog texting at a time when ego needs a pick-me-up. This will result in at best a bit of useless attention, at worst a feeling of extreme self loathing. The practice of dead dog poking is on the whole inadvisable and will lead to nothing. Dead dog poking when drunk is a nono. In fact best to delete dead dog numbers altogether, something that’s surprisingly difficult to do.


Handy code when out with the girls

PF – Potentially Fit Guy

TF – Totally fit guy

TTF – Needs no Explaining

YPF – Young, potentially fit (my type)

OPF – Old, potentially fit (Jess’s type… at the moment)

GPF – Gay,and potentially fit

(Note, all P categories can be suitably upgraded to T if occasion calls. i.e If you saw Will Young walking down the street you would say GTF!!!)


Woofer – someone who suffered from a deficiency in the aesthetic department

Sub Woofer – Massively esthetically challenged


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